thoughts on fundraising.

Raising support. This was the thing that caused the most apprehension for me, when contemplating this journey. I wasn't worried about safety, about quitting my great job, or about traveling around the world by myself.
But asking other people for their money? nope. no way. not going to do it.

Doubts creep in so easily: what if I try but the money never comes in? What if people don't care about my mission? What if? What if?

Attempting to ignore the doubts of my weakness, I plowed ahead. I have learned much through this effort. Now, looking back, of course there are things I would likely do differently, given the chance. But that is an unavoidable part of human nature. There is no way to change what has already been done. There is only the possibility of change in the unwritten future. In order to cause effective change, it is necessary to understand the events that brought us to where we are, to take an inventory of what was learned through them.

Despite many failings, the Lord has been slowly working on my heart through all of this. And although many of these things were told to me in advance by wise friends, it was crucial for me to experience the process in order to learn them for myself.
The following is a partial list of things I have realized through this journey.

1) People really do want to help. Social justice is something that transcends all religious beliefs and petty differences in their practice. It is not ok to stand by and allow the gross injustices of the world to persist. I may be the one physically "going" to learn about and address some of these issues, but those who have come along side me by giving encouragement, advice, or finances are just as much a part of this fight against injustice as I am.

2) I have been so blessed by being given much from those who have little. The story of the widow's offering (Luke 21:1-4) has been familiar to me, as it is frequently sermonized and discussed. But I can honestly say that now I've tasted a little bit of the love that comes from a gift like that. It caught me off guard to see that the majority of the donations to my trip have come from my peers: dear friends who are also struggling to make ends meat. Those donations are powerful beyond words.

3) Increased awareness of how I am using "my" money. Opening an account to specifically hold money from donations is a humbling experience in several ways. It is a standing reminder that I am unable to do this on my own. It provides a comparison point for my other accounts (...is there more? ...less??) And lastly, every time I receive a check, it begs the question "what was it that I spent this amount on? was it worthwhile? could I have put it towards saving for the trip?"

4) Consistently, every single deadline has been provided for. Although looking at the generally low balance in the electronic bank statement never inspires much confidence, every single time there has been a deadline for a tuition deposit, a plane ticket, etc., there has been enough money to cover it. Without fail.

5) Balancing "fund-raising" vs. relying on the Lord. This is something I am still in the process of learning. How many things should I do to try to earn the necessary money? Obviously it would be unacceptable to sit around and do nothing, however it is also a poor idea to attempt to go it alone. In my experience thus far, the things that I have planned as fundraisers have gained little capital but spread a great amount of awareness. Whereas, the relationships that I have built, and the people who truly believe in the cause have made all the difference.

6) Encouragement throughout the process has proved again and again to be more significant than monetary gifts. It never fails that encouragement comes at the most needed times, and usually from the source least expected. Sometimes encouragements will come in the form of a kind word, but they can also come as a swift kick in the pants, so to speak. Both are extremely helpful, but not equally pleasant.

7) There have been friends in the same place to walk the path with me. Never underestimate the value of companionship. This has saved me in many dark moments. It has also been a sounding board and an outlet to brainstorm. I have been blessed to also provide advice and encouragement to others based on my (severely limited!) experience, and I still wonder at how all the intricate puzzle pieces fit together. love it.

8) Learning to RECEIVE. Those of you who know me well know the struggle this has been for me. I love to give, but for some reason it is difficult for me to receive, whether that comes in the form of a compliment, a birthday present, a donation, etc. I just don't like it. But I experienced an interesting turning point about a month ago. Up until that point, my conversation looked something like this:
"I'm headed out on this amazing mission, to deal with this horrendous issue, and I got involved this way, and I feel strongly because of this.....oh and I'm really going to need some support....would you pray? maybe give some money too?"

Truly. That's how it sounded. However, at some critical point I realized that this would NEVER happen without financial support. And I would never receive support unless I learned to ask.
Unless I learned to receive.