2012: patience. risk. beauty.

 Merry Christmas from Claire, Harvey & Macy!!

In the last 24 hours, the weather has taken a nosedive from nearly 70 degrees to 35 degrees and howling winds.  As someone who works primarily outside, I can't say that I'm incredibly excited about this shift, but now that it actually feels like winter, it's time to dig in to the seasonal ramblings and reflections on the past year.

2012 has certainly been an up an down year for me.  It has been full of heart wrenching goodbyes, and painful seasons.  The adventurous side of me likes to complain that it been a tame year, as it only involved travel to a few countries.  However, my route from most major US airports through Korea to Cambodia/Thailand (and back) has become a well worn path.  And I love that. 

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different." 

-C.S. Lewis

So, in no partucilar order, I'd like to share with you the "little" things that have changed everything.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

-Winnie the Pooh

 Winnie the Pooh is one of my favorite characters of all time.  His simple sayings rock my world even today, and yet children can grasp them.  And truly, how lucky I am to have the kind of family and friends that make saying goodbye so hard.  I am so thankful to have difficult goodbyes.  I hope that I will always be able to remain soft enough to feel that pain of letting go.  To love is to be vulnerable to loss...and loss is inevitable.  But love is still so, so worth it.  Risk loving, risk putting your heart into relationships, risk the sting of rejection.  Risk.

 "Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful." 

- Annette Funicello

 I loved this statement as soon as I read it, but I love it even more after researching (yes, I googled) Annette.  She is noteworthy to the public because she is an actress, but she also battles multiple sclerosis.  If someone with MS can declare this, then so can I!  It is so easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism, to hold yourself to a high standard that simply cannot be met.  But that comes with the baggage of constantly being disappointed in yourself.  And that certainly is no way to live.

If you have spent an time with me, you certainly have met Macy a time or two (or ten).  This little pup constantly reminds me to see the wonderful around me.  I never understood how people found such good dogs, and now I know that it is just blind luck.  I also know that I will be ruined forever, since my first dog is the best in the whole world (I'm assuming that most people think their own dog is the best in the world, but my claim is actually true).  Unless, of course, there is a dog out there that also cooks, does laundry, and pays my bills.

Small segue: having a dog has also taught me to appreciate those of you with children.  I can't get anywhere on time with just one dog!!  I have no idea how you do it.  Luckily, I have thrown the ideal of perfection out the window already. 

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I look back through the many photos accumulated from the year, the difficult times are quickly drowned in the beauty that surrounds me on a daily basis.  Not only natural beauty, but also the beauty of deep friendships, an amazing family, work I truly believe in, a city where I finally have allowed roots to form.  And all I feel is thankful for the richness of life I have been allowed to experience...even if I didn't realize the fullness of that thing until it was gone. 

Things eventually become clutter (and quite swiftly when you live in a tiny house!), but moments add up to memories, and memories create richness of experience.  Rich experiences and overcoming adversity eventually combine to create wisdom.  And wisdom > clutter.  Every time. 

 First moments back on a scooter after the motorcycle accident...

 moments of perspective

 moments of wonder

 moments of big, big love

 moments of splendor

 moments of victory

 moments of peace

 moments of promise

 moments of discovery

 the moments when hard work pays off

final moments and goodbyes.  

What a richness of moments this year has been.

"Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

-Howard Thurman

My dreams for the future scare me all the time.  And I'm ok with that.  Life is a little more fun when you are slightly out of control...a daring excitement creeps in when you don't know that it will all turn out ok.  To me, it's like the feeling of galloping toward an obstacle on cross country...you have prepared the horse, the training is in place, the horse knows his job, but there is no guarantee that you will arrive safely on the other side.  There is always a chance that something can go awry.  Always.  But it is worth the risk.  The exhilaration of finishing a cross country course is second to none.  The partnership that is developed, the teamwork, the subtle cues, the feeling of flying in harmony with another creature.  It is worth the risk.

Life is worth the risk.  

I hope that I can rise to that challenge everyday.  I hope that I never forget to keep things in perspective and not sweat the small stuff.  I hope that I can be strong in the face of adversity and disappointments that will surely come my way.  I hope that I will continue to risk for the sake of love.  

"For the Lord your God has arrived among you.  He is a Mighty Savior.  He will rejoice over you with great gladness.  With His love, He will calm all your fears, He will exalt over you with singing!"
-Zephaniah 3:17

In closing, I will leave you with the little ones who have touched my heart and left their fingerprints everywhere.  My life has been permanently marked by every country I have been to, but Cambodia holds a special piece of my soul.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for this place.