a sweet retreat.

At the beginning of December, I had an opportunity to be on the staff of a girl’s retreat lead by the community empowerment team at Oasis.

The community team is an essential part of the Oasis mission and the work they do in India. The longer I am here, the more convinced I am that prevention/empowerment is absolutely key in establishing social justice.

In an issue such as such as human trafficking, rescue, recovery and aftercare are all crucial. However, in those cases, much damage has already been done: both emotional and physical damage to the child, stress to the family, and (especially in Indian society) the irreversible shame caused by judgment from the community.

To fight something like human trafficking, poverty must be fought at its roots by providing education, health care, and life-skills training. These are all areas in which Oasis works to empower the community. Providing opportunity for education gives people tools to rise out of poverty on their own two feet. These things also make a family less vulnerable to someone who might come in and persuade them that their daughter is better off in a “job” in the city.

All the programs that oasis is running are aiming to eventually be self-sustainable by the community. They have preschool programs, back-to-school programs (for kids that have dropped out), computer classes, free health clinics, and kid’s clubs set up in slum communities. Community members are trained to be teachers, and Oasis will eventually leave the community in capable hands, to then focus their efforts on another community. This is so crucial because in communities like these, poverty is basically a generational curse, and it takes so much to rise above it. But Oasis exists to make this possible; with basic computer skills, English lessons, and some interview skills, the sky is the limit!

The girl's club is one of the community empowerment initiatives. It provides support and relevant life skills teaching catered to girls ages 12-18. Usually girl's club meets once per week, but this retreat was planned to allow the girls to have a new experience away from their oppressive communities.

All of these girls live in the slum communities that Oasis serves, meaning that most of them have never traveled far outside their slum, and many had not spent any nights away from their family. Because of the Indian cultural view of women as commodities, their virginity is guarded closely, and they could be ostracized from their community for even being suspected of promiscuous behavior. This mentality basically seals the grave for girls that have been raped, as they are “worthless” for the rest of their life, unworthy of marriage. Not only do they bare the physical and emotional scars from the abuse, but they carry that label forever.

Because of this, the dedicated ladies of oasis spent countless hours doing home-visits around the communities to talk to the parents and make sure they understood where their daughters were going, and to get their permission. This required a lot of persistence in many cases (one father even threatened to hang himself if his daughter went to the retreat). I wonder at this, because most of the men in these slum communities are alcoholics, leaving their wives with the full responsibility of the family, and leaving the kids to run wild. The only authority that the kids generally see from the fathers is abuse. The suicide rate within these communities is quite high, due to this combination of issues.

Despite the though opposition, on Tuesday December 8^th, 2009 - the van pulled up bright and early at 6:00AM to 25 girls waiting in anticipation for the retreat. The group was 31 in total, including 6 staff, and we barely fit into the rented bus. The Lord definitely had the number of participants under control because I don’t think we could have squeezed another person into that vehicle! In fact, the presence of God was so incredibly apparent the entire time we were preparing for this event and over the whole course of time we were with the girls.

The theme of the retreat was “Discovering your Real Beauty” which proved to be an excellent theme for teenagers as it is relevant to their life stage. The theme covered important topics and touched real issues problems that the young girls face at their age.

The first topic was inner beauty. Through both teaching and some fun activities, this session brought to light the fact that each girl was very precious. It also highlighted the importance of character, and that character is more important than physical looks.

The second topic we covered was sex and sexuality. The girls related well with what was said and asked many question about that had bothered them in the past. Mostly all the girls expressed that this was the first time these sensitive issues were explained to them so openly. Most girls also expressed that the contents of the session helped to clarify many wrong beliefs they had in mind.

The third topic was overcoming guilt and shame. Shame is a huge in this culture, and often, girls are never able to fully overcome it. Many of these girls had been touched inappropriately by boys their own age or sexually abused by older men or older family members in their past. There is no opportunity for counseling for the girls, and many times, no punishment for the men.

Myself and another member of the staff were able to share stories from our own lives, how we were able to overcome guilt and shame from our past experiences, and how we now find hope in Christ.

Throughout the retreat, we had any fun activities and crazy games. Even the staff had a great time of fun and silliness with all the girls. These girls were overjoyed to eat three square meals every day, and all of them experienced a bonfire for the very first time.

There is no way I could include all the personal stories, but the following is one story from the retreat:

Rani (name has been Changed) in a vibrant girl in her late teens, who loves to laugh and make crazy faces. It was a real struggle for her to get permission from her family members to attend the retreat, but after the Oasis staff had spoken to them many times, the parents agreed to send her. At the retreat, as the talks began to unravel a lot of issues, Rani started remembering painful experiences that she underwent but she didn’t want to remember again. At one point during the topic Guilt and Shame, the need for forgiveness was discussed. She couldn’t take the pain in her heart any longer and she came running to the staff. Initially she found it very difficult to open up, but after the staff eased her and facilitated the conversation, she broke unto tears and said her own brother abused her sexually and a mature uncle was abusing her by touching her in inappropriate places. She tried to tell her mother about it but she would not believe her, said there was nothing she could do about it, and yelled at her for making up stories. Fed up with the fights and problems at home, she developed feelings for a boy and on a particular day in her grandmother’s house while she was left alone, the boy also took advantage of her and abused her sexually.

Rani tried to commit suicide but somehow don’t have the courage to do it.

The staff told Rani that whatever happened in her life doesn’t make her unworthy and she is still precious. Also the staff facilitated a time to forgive the persons who abused her and helped her to come out the shock and hatred she was going through.

This is just one of the stories, but there are so many more...sadly similar to this one. However, there is still hope in the midst of all this. On the last day of the retreat, there is one vivid moment for me that I remember very clearly. I was standing on one side of a soccer-sized field watching the girls run toward me after a lunch break they were finishing. They were laughing as they ran, and some were playing tag with each other. I couldn't help but think "these are the lucky ones." Many of them don't have more than two outfits in the whole world, and they live in a house the size of my closet, but they have hope. They have Oasis: a group of people who have dedicated their whole lives to bringing hope.